Finance, Oh Finance

Lyrics by Adam Jacobson

(with apologies to Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick)

Finance, oh Finance I’ve seen the report.
The numbers look bad. We have to talk.
After you make an adjustment or three
Things will be better – you’ll see.

Let’s start – our sales aren’t low.
We’ve signed ten new contracts – didn’t you know?
And those expenses seem high.
They really are capex – I wouldn’t lie.

Finance, oh Finance we aren’t quite through.
Though it looks better there’s more to do.
If you look harder I’m sure that you’ll find
There’s something that’s slipped your mind.

Now let’s talk inventory.
You say it’s not moving – that’s not the whole story.
End with professional fees.
A one-time restructure – proforma please.

Finance, oh Finance we’ve had our review.
I feel much better – I’m sure you do too.
The future is bright and my bonus is clear.

This wasn’t so bad.
The Board will be glad.
And such a light touch.
Why, thank you so much!
I can’t wait to talk next year!


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